Noticing Everything and Loving It

I have been fascinated with Nature and sunlight more with each passing day. I used to long for an escape somewhere at a park, and felt like I could not enjoy nature unless I was somewhere special.

It took my Father’s death for me to start noticing more. Sounds strange, but he was so domineering and loud. Lived life bolting around like a fiery dart and I did not feel comfortable in my parents house. When he was gone, I could feel the silence. It was so sad at first, and then I started noticing things I had not before, like how beautiful the front yard looked with afternoon sun streaking on it, making shadows.

It started in Spring of 2019. I would sit in the middle of the yard in late afternoon, until it got too hot for me to do it. Then, in my bedroom, I moved my desk in front of the window so I could look out often.

Now, I take pictures often of late day shadows, and notice everything. On the hill across from our home, is new growth of tiny, wiry, pine trees. Big trees are falling everywhere ruining the landscape, and yet these new trees are growing out of nowhere.

It helps me connect with God, and wonder what He is up to. The winter has left the trees barren and stark looking, and I refuse to not find joy in the creation I love so much. So I look at the sun, and every blade of grass. One day recently, I noticed the fertilizer bag had tiny plants growing out of it by accident. It lies on the ground and somehow picked up something. A bed also we keep vegetables in the summer, had been cleaned out, and somehow grew a completely set of new plants all by itself. We do use manure though a lot, it is what my Dad left behind, it does grow things, LOL.

I love the yard so much that I am irritated that leaves have ruined it, and are starting to kill the grass in some places. I went out and swept up a large pile, and didn’t know dumping leaves was such hard work. Then the wind kept blowing and I had to quit. I asked myself again why I was doing this, and I thought to myself: “I will fight for this, this grass will not die”. So I will be busy fighting for the yard for awhile, saving every last blade of grass and feeling peaceful because nature is the one thing God created that man did not. It is that part in the Bible in the Martha and Mary story where Martha is running around frustrated that her sister won’t help her cook so she whines it about it to Christ. Can you imagine? He calmly tells her that she has chosen the one thing that cannot be taken away from her, as Mary sits at his feet. She chose to learn from him, to worship him instead. Creation to me is a form of worship and appreciation to God. I don’t worship the sun mind you, I just feel connected to God more and this is one way I know how to do it. I mess up everything it seems with God for years, and can’t seem to get much right, but this one thing leads the way.

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