I have been working out hard since before Christmas, and have been on a stationary bike, slowly upping my time. On alternate days, I try some strength training, ballet, and walk some. The bike, however has helped me emotionally in ways I never thought possible.
I prayed to God before I began this exercise journey for help, and I wonder if this is how he came through. The longer I push myself, and go for extra minutes on the bike, the more I shock myself. What comes to mind is: it shows you what you can do, that you never thought you could. I have always been a survivor. I have never given myself credit for lasting as long as I have in life, through some of the most horrendous things imaginable. I came out of everything on the other side, still alive. Being overweight terrifies me. It is bad for my heart, my organs. When I get up to walk in the morning, I am stiff and my feet seem irritated to be carrying so much weight. I never could piece it together, until I faced it head on that I had gone too far, and get the weight off.
I just thought that I was to trudge through and not get any benefit from exercise, and maybe I would see results, or maybe not, but never thought it would wake something up inside of me that had been dead for a long time-resolve. A determination to keep going, and keep fighting for my health.
As I listened to upbeat music, I pedaled faster, remembering my newfound wisdom. Each time, I go longer, and slightly faster, and one day I might can try spinning.
It is not just the bike either. I used to see some strength training moves as impossible until I had epiphanies and wanted to see how far I could go. There is a lower ab move where you drop your legs to the ground. Looks easy, guess what? Hardest thing you will ever do. It is only done by advanced people. I plan on doing this one day. I saw a photo once in the 1970’s books: Callanetics. It is a very hard exercise program. One exercise in particular you sit up and spead your legs apart in the air. Sitting up makes this move impossible, in the beginning you drag your legs on the ground. Eventually, you get to a point where you can raise them high.
Things seem impossible until you tell yourself to keep going until you get there. One day you can, and will!
I remember the show: Biggest Loser in 2005. I saw several seasons, and people on there always walked away with a higher emotional benefit than physical and they taught themselves they could handle any challenge.
When you need to fight, you do it, and my time to fight for my health is now.
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