For months now I have sacrificed my time getting upset over something I cannot control. I would wake up every day and worry about it, and became obsessed with it. It was deeply upsetting. As a Christian, I am to look to God everyday, and I did, but he cannot connect easily with us if we are disconnected, fearful, worried or angered.
I kept feeling him tug at me often to drop my worry and fears, and focus on things I enjoyed. I have read Author Bonnie Gray say this a lot. I have had to learn the hard way that God does not want you to be a stiff version of yourself that wants to strive hard to please Him. Works means nothing to Him.
I think I had to learn that everyday life, with the sun pouring in through the window, enjoying the little things-good food, self care, reading, listening to songs and just letting go in them to sing happily, and just focus on the tiniest of things can help you.
They are what we call creature comforts but they matter a lot.
For me, it is time I step aside from the pain and all I have felt and have a mental vacation. I am not sure if it is possible, I have made a habit out of being upset and emotionally wrought day in and day out, but I would rather enjoy the time I have left.
So what is at the end of the rope? Everything. It is not the end, and was never meant to be.
A song I was listening to got to me today as I thought about this..Harrison Storm’s Run, found:Here