I watched a favorite video of mine that is very deep, and it is a mesmerizing video about a boy that plays with a sheet, it flies away, he chases after it, he ends up being tied up, gives up, lies back and suddenly breaks free from the strings. Shards of glass or paper, fly through the air, there are many meanings.
For me, it means control and giving up, letting go to God.
I am upset personally at something in my life, and feel that there is no future and there is utter helplessness on some issues..
So as I watched this video, and came to the part where the boy lies back and gives up, I cried and thought to myself: What in the world happens next? Just as I thought that, the ties broke free from his hands as if to answer me. So, I prayed to God a few hours later even though I did not want to, I could find the words, so I journaled them. I told God about the video, and had him watch it with me. I said what needs to come up? So as I watch it a second time, God puts these thoughts in my head: What about a kite? What does it do? Does it fly to heaven? What about the sheet he is holding? It’s natural place is to flow gently in the wind.
Letting go was a key thing and feeling I got from it. The sheet was naturally inclined to let the wind take it and see where it would go.
Then I kept noticing the strings on the boy’s hands, as he fought back against them so he could not be held in bondage anymore. I am trying to do this, but it is hard.
God tells us often to let go, do not worry or fear, but these are so freaking impossible to do at times. I have deep issues with trusting God. He knows this. It always seems like God is more happy to see us die and be in heaven then on earth so us being here is not important. Many Christians rudely point that out that this place is not our home, and say so huffily as if it’s a good thing. My life has had zero meaning and hope for years. I refuse to let go of a world I have not achieved anything in because my health screwed it up. This is an honest confession, and you don’t have to like it, just don’t berate me. We all have our things we have issues with as a Christian.
I have got to be more like a kite…..
Here the video, it is really masterfully done: