Sometimes when we pray, we have no idea what it is we want for that day, what we need at that time. I have been still going forth each day with the word: “honesty” in my head. I tell God the most shocking, ugliest stuff, and the good stuff too, but I omit nothing these days. I think honesty is my word for the year.
Anyway, the other day I prayed in the morning, upset and frustrated over something, and told God outright, I didn’t know what I needed, but maybe he did, and left it at that. Minutes after, a family member emails me to say that we should grow things in a greenhouse this spring and summer. Her exact words were: “Let’s grow lots of things!”.
Let me explain this. I have been interested in plants for months now. I watch these Korean home vlogs on YouTube, notably the channel: Cardsu. She has a balcony full of plants in all seasons and it greatly inspired me. I mentioned in casually to a few people, so when this person said they wanted to start a greenhouse, I thought it would be a good idea for them because I wanted them to have a hobby. I was interested, but did not want to get involved and be annoying.
So when I received that email, I burst into tears. Nobody wants me to do anything it seems. I am the person that is invisible, that is ignored. I still don’t know why God chose that one thing, except that it mattered to me.
I wanted desperately to get into plants and growing things, and God seems to be all for it. He knew something I did not, and by caring about this one thing, it meant a lot to me.
I read so many negative things online constantly where Christians say that God is not interested in giving us things we want, and I grow tired of this notion. If we are just going to be miserable, than why on earth should we stay here in this horrible place? Life is hard enough.
I have no idea how this will play out. It also costs money, but I have to trust that if God wants me to do it, he will make a way. On my end, I stay steadfast in God as it says in His Word. I keep trying, and holding onto the faith.
So if you don’t know what you need, or feel like you are lost, and simply don’t know how to ask God for it, just tell him that you don’t know, and let him take care of it. Your job is to sit back and wait to see how it plays out. It could be minutes or hours. It took ten minutes for that email to be written, and thirty minutes later for me to even see it.
God knows what you need.