It is the million dollar question Christians wonder, but from a unique perspective I can honestly say, I want to know what He thinks of me personally. Meaning what does He think of my art? my writing? The fears I have? The deepest thoughts? desires? Feelings? Would he be upset at me, and pick apart my life, or be kind and loving?
Most assume because our lives are about santification, that we only to focus on that, but I don’t believe that. Why does God tell us to seek him if He just wants to blast us once we get there? This is what I struggle with, and what I prayed about today to him. I told him straight up what I wondered, that if he visited me, what would he say?
The famous pictures going around for centuries depicting Christ, greatly tick me off because they are not what he really looks like and we were not told that information, but thanks to those ridiculous images, your mind gravitates towards that, even though it is a lie and probably blasphemous to him. So to top everything off, if you imagine Christ talking to you, be careful with the imagery please.
I brought this up because I thought back on the Mary Martha story in Luke 38-42. Mary was always at his feet it seemed, always intrigued with him, as he said..listening. But to me, I have listened too much, I want to ask questions, and get answers. I wonder if he would look at me coldly, or blankly.
I try to remember in the Bible how Jesus acted in the Gospels and quite frankly, he was more angry, sarcastic and stern than he was open and kind. It seemed like when he was kind, he quickly left and went off to work somewhere else. Mary and Martha, not to mention the disciples had no idea how great it was until after he died, that they were in the presence of God.
How would you feel? How would you respond? Can anyone possibly imagine Jesus visiting your home? Would be care about your mess, or be more interested in you? I would think the latter.
Perhaps we would be tongue tied, shocked, hoping we would do what is right. For me, I want to by myself, and want to know what he thinks of the real me.
All people talk about is who we are sinners, and that has become the entirety of the Christian message, and it glosses over the fact that God gave us each individual personalities, interests, character. If he didn’t want us to be ourselves than why make us this way?
People equate being yourself with sin, and that is not what I am talking about. Our behavior can be sinful, but not every word that comes out of our mouths, not who we are when we laugh, or talk, or do un-sinful things. This has bothered me to no end that it is all people want to talk about in the Christian life. What do we want God and Jesus to see if they were visibly present to us? Let go of the sin thing, the I-have-to-be-perfect. If you were just you, what would you want to ask him?
What I long to get others to think about, besides me, is how we are viewed by God in everyday life, as who we are, and who He created us to be, not robots focused on works and blood, sweat and tears, but just us.
It is a serious question worth asking. I dare you!