This blog was created in Spring of 2020, and through it all I noticed more and more how broken I was, and am. I realized I have thoughts that others do not openly express, and felt that I should keep it up, instead of trying to stifle it.
My journey through Christianity is very difficult, and I am one of those people who will do a Google search, and get very frustrated fast, at how the terms I typed in, the issues I had, nobody was talking about. If they did, it was wrapped up in a neat package full of perfect writing and excellence, but left out the humanity. I either see encouragement that is impossible to reach, or raw honesty the other way where people put out rather hatefully or forcefully, and with fear, how Christians should live. 2021 is my year of being honest with God, raw, open, and telling him and myself things that are not pretty. The hidden things that I feel, that I stuff deep inside with hot tears, or a weary soul because nobody wants to hear it, or deal with it.
Because I could not process what I was going through, I got away from God twice and spent time with Ex Christians, Agnostics, and Atheists reading their posts and stories. I felt the way they did. Why is it so hard and forbidden to say what really bothers us? Most leave the faith because they can’t get answers to burning questions, that sadly God has not covered. There are many things we do not know, and have to make peace with that somehow.
When I tried to come up with the name for the re-haul of my blog, I went through several for the description:
The space in between
They all have the same pattern or idea, that I wanted to communicate a different place, and frame of mind about how we express ourselves as broken Christians. To me, that does not mean cursing or acting wild, but it does mean speaking frankly, thinking boldly, using choice words sometimes so I am not lying to myself and others.
I am a different kind of Christian writer. I have never fit into any mold. I have always been an outcast my entire life, and this blog is no exception.
As I surrender this blog to God, which is pretty scary, the ideas I had came to me, and I am trying to implement them. God seems okay with the mess, as long as I give it to Him to sort through, and transform.
In order to have good posts and stories, and to find out information to help all of you, and myself, I have to seek God, and find out things, and be vulnerable and yielded. I take this seriously, so I can get the best information, and I have no idea where it will take me.
If you here, and you think differently, and want to read raw content about the Christian life from a real struggler, this is for you.
I ended up calling the description: For the broken. But it is a different type of broken. The broken you feel from being rejected, treated horribly by others, deeply hurt, people who have trust issues, with life and with God, and need healing, but struggle to hand it over, it is THAT kind of broken. There is no quick fix to that path, it is another journey, and you can go on it too, as I do.
Thanks for being here!