The other day, I was upset and felt God as pushing me to call my former employer, who is a Christian, and ask for her advice. God has been pushing me to get the Baptism of the spirit for a year, and I kept pushing it away. I thought it was blasphemous, and wrong because I already had the spirit. But now I understand. I really dont know how to explain, but I will try. I went to a Pentecostal church and it was not what people imagine. Most imagine people running free, barking like dogs, acting crazy, and this time it was more orderly, but very worshipful.(Update-Upon checking, this was not a direct Pentecostal church but they act like them, they say they are a non-denominational church on their website.)
The music was modern and good and the woman who met with me in the parking lot, stood nearby, and was getting into it. She was in her own little world. Then, after a few songs, everyone comes to the front, and gets on their knees to pray. 90% of them spoke in tongues. I was stunned. I had never in my life heard this before. I wanted to record it, but I took a photo instead.
The Pastor’s wife had been informed that I was battling warfare and wanted the Baptism of the spirit, and she came over then and held my hands. She then said she binded evil from me now, and cast it out. Then she put her hand on my chest and on my head, and called for the anointing. This was wild. Tears came to me, I did not feel a whole lot, just joy at a lower level mostly. She led me to the Pastor, and he put his hand on my forehead and tried to get the spirit in me and told me to raise my hands and say: “I receive” I did as he said. They told me I would speak in tongues because it was proof, well that messed me up. I was scared if i didn’t, they would think I didnt have it, so I told God, okay do it, so they will know. The music was very loud, and thankfully I could not hear myself, but something came rolling out in a painful tone because I was stressed out. They let it go on for about 30 seconds and then she hugged me and I said thank you to them both and they walked away, because another man wanted it too.
I was standing there, my new friend told me to raise my hands, it felt so weird for me because I had been a Baptist, and they are stiff and uptight, so I felt odd. I noticed my hands were buzzing, and I felt a little tired, and oddly happy. As I sat down and heard the short sermon, I understand more for once in my life what he was saying. I did not take offense like I usually do at the Gospel. I kept smiling so much, I thought my face was going to break off. I can attest right now, it is very much real. There is a second Baptism and yes it is of God. I was taught that stuff like that was demonic and that those people are deranged but once I got among them, I realized, they are not. They are free, and let go, and release their worries and let God in more, and they just let go in freedom and feel what they are going to feel.
During my experience, both the Pastor and his wife spoke in tongues the entire time except to say yes, come upon her, etc but other than that it is this strange language impossible to explain. When I got back in the car to tell my former employer what happened, she said that tongues is often spoke in worship just to God, and then if something happens during a sermon, than it is interpreted but that worship tongues were different. It was so weird to me but God did not do anything that I could not handle. As I stood there, a phrase hit me: “You will be healed”. What? I had been begging for my health problems to stop and this then popped into my head.
The woman next to me in church lives nearby, and wants to drive me to church Sunday. She is awesome. She spoke in tongues 90% of the time, even in hearing the sermon she said it a few times like it was a casual every day thing. She had such joy in her and seemed free, then outside she was serious. I told her my hands were buzzing, and she said,: “Yeah it is electricity, that is the spirit”. Before the service, she told me that most people do not come to their church and request it upfront the way I did and chase it down. She said she had never seen anyone as hungry as I was for the spirit. I told her that God had been leading me up to this for months and the very second I obeyed, peace flooded me and everything fell into place, and it happened.
God also answered my prayer about my embarassment. I told him that I did not want to go on stage and have everyone see this. But I was on the floor, and everyone was around me, and they did see it, and they were all praising God and praying. They are very kind and loving people, thoughtful, they are just open and free.
The Pastor gave a short sermon saying that we dont know our own authority and we need to use it. I know he was talking to me. He said: “I get the message that some of you tonight are in bondage, and I want you to say to yourself now: “I am free”. I felt God nudging me. He told us we have authority and we don’t use it. He backed everything up with scripture, some of the same ones I had been reading for weeks. He said: “At no point do you see Christ praying for a demon to come out, he just cast them out or tells them to leave”. (Except that one time where the disciples could not, and Christ said, that this one comes out with prayer and fasting). He did clear something up for me that had been bothering me for weeks, and that was that demons cannot possess a Christian. They had me convinced of this, and scared. Some Pentecostals believe that, but this church thankfully does not. Mostly because it does not make sense for evil for dwell directly among good. They can however oppress you to severe levels and that includes your health.
I went to bed buzzing, my hands feeling charged up, and adrenaline running through my body. I was also tired at the same time for the first time in ages, and felt an unexplainable, simple joy that was on another level entirely. It was like my faith had been updated, and I had walked up a flight of stairs and went to another level. I have heard people say that this is more at this level, and they were not kidding. I was worried my identity would be gone, and God would want to take that too, but that is a myth. I felt very much like myself, and empowered to just be me and have God with me.
The emotions I felt was that God has this powerful simple joy, and it is almost childlike, and carefree and I got the impression that he very simply just wants to give it, and all the worries people have would seem to melt under it.
I also felt like that as I looked back at where I was before as an average Christian that had been given this baptism of fire, I was a wreck. If what I am thinking is true, than EVERY Christian who has been saved, and Baptized by water(not at birth, but full immersion), can easily receive the spirit of fire. I feel like truly that ALL Christians were expected to get this, and that is why the mainstream ones struggle so heavily with worry and fear, and feeling lost and confused, because the spirit has not been given at another level.
I have to read up on this, but from what I understand and read so far, when you get saved, it is there, but the water Baptism does something deeper, and I can attest to this. I had demons heavily around me after I was saved, and could not be Baptized for two weeks, and I could feel a hate and disgust. I feel like God was not there, or I could not feel him. I was scared to death. After I got Baptized, I still heard an angry voice later on that night, and I prayed, and something took it away. But, I had an eeriness going on for years that something was not right. The demons and Satan seemed to have the upper hand all the time, and I did not understand why. I could not get answers from God, and had a hard time seeing him as good.
This experience last night, showed me that Baptism by Fire is for every Christian, and without it, we will feel horrible. I see this on all the mainstream sites like Incourage,, and even Proverbs 31. The women who write seem confused and messed up, and say the same sad stuff Christians always say that God wants to punish this, or is testing me, or wants us to suffer, but in my research, I am finding out more and more God does not want us to be sick, he does not use that, that is one of the biggest lies. If you take the word directly true, for what it says, everyone that came to Christ was healed. Pastors like to spin this and say no he didn’t, but just because every story was not told does not mean he didn’t.
He also hated legalism and rules, and went out of his way to disrupt Sabbath and heal someone. He did this on purpose to tell people to lighten up.
My mind wanted to sit back last night and analyze this, and all these thoughts came to me. I feel like understanding will happen at another level now, and that getting closer to God will be more easier than before.
Don’t be afraid of this. I remember watching the night before Todd White’s testimony and that was frightening. .He said he thought he was dying, and then laid down for two hours. God gives people what he does based off their personality, and what he wants their testimony to be. Each story will be different. I have heard several times that the spirit is a gentleman, and will not invade you cruelly, I think people tend to freak out and make it harder on themselves. You have to surrender and let go and for some that can be really hard.
I know today, as I write this, my fingers are shaking still. There is still a buzz going on in my body. They say with the fire baptism, it goes fully into your body and soul, not just the spirit so you will notice physical changes.
Writing came to mind last night too as I was standing there, and God seemed fine with me writing, I have no idea why it came up, maybe he was answering my question. I want to write a book soon, and that may have been why. This blog was meant to journal a lot of my experiences, but I leave out a lot on purpose for the book.