Christ Followers Can Set Boundaries

A year ago, my therapist mentioned this boundary thing, that I should set those in my life. I always thought that as a Christian, I was not allowed to set boundaries, because it is our job to listen to everything believers say in case God is speaking to us through them. The problem with that is number one: Overload. Number two: It is just plain wrong and silly.

What season of life are you in? This is a common question to Christians these days. For me, I am in a season of trying hard to know and accept that God loves me. He has pursued me on this and brought this to my attention nonstop. I noticed that when I read negative, brutalizing statements from Christians that think God wants them to be hateful for our own good, and that is all I see, it makes me see that in good things too, to where everything gets tainted and ugly real fast.

I am a very sensitive person. The church I used to go to upset me so much, and the more I followed their “hardcore” beliefs, the more miserable I became. When certain people cannot take information well, they WILL leave the faith and throw everything away. I have done it twice, and I don’t want to do it again, but I get so tired of everyone running their mouths nonstop every day with this dumb belief: “I am rebuking you out of love”. You don’t have love. Mark DeJesus taught me that MOST Christians speak from a place of self hate, disgust, and deep down they see it as they hate they have to follow the rule’s, so therefore you must do it too. I threw that last part in, but it is true.

I’ve said it on repeat, but I don’t care-believers today are not coming from a place of love. God has had to bring up His love for me countless times, and even told me in scripture that I am holy and blameless before him, and thanks to the brutality of the mainstream faith, it has damaged me so severely, that I have a hard time accepting this.

I often wonder seriously if more Christians lived out of a place of love, from knowing God loves them, and living out of it, what would it look like? How would they act? Would they say the same stuff they always say?

A person who knows they are loved and accepts it, can be a strong force. They will be emotionally balanced, and have a strong sense of well being. I am not there yet, and I have to say it is miserable on the end of just not connecting to truths. Sad part is, God seems to think this is easy for us, when it is the hardest thing ever. Just accept it, He says.

How can I? It has turned into the most difficult thing I have ever had to do in my life, it takes massive courage.

Staying in a twisted comfort zone we think, works out better for us.

Okay, so back to boundary setting. For me, I don’t want to read every day hateful statements that are “convicting”. True conviction does not look like the picture often painted. It isn’t brow beating someone to death, it is a self awareness that comes up and shines a light on it gently, on a problem you are having. If it comes from nasty sounding people, you will remember that the rest of your life, and you will pretend it did not hurt you, when it does. You will think you are not supposed to question sources, but as I have been taught this year-if what you are hearing does not come from a place of faith, hope and love, and encourages you, what good is it? It will not go very far or help you long term.

I rarely give advice in person to Christians because I don’t want be that person who never shuts up.

It is true I have a blog, I do repeat myself on things, I try to say things from a more encouraging stance though, I admit that my disgust with fellow believers is a real problem for me, I openly admit it.

I also know that if I allow bad people into my inner circle every day and don’t set boundaries, I will come to hate God again, even though He didn’t do anything. Warfare loves to take believers and turn them against each other.

I notice when I am in church, and everyone is quiet and just singing and being in God’s Presence, I can let myself relax and not hate people then, and try to be of one mind with them. But when you go on Facebook and see negative things, that counts as an area you need to set boundaries. Most things we will set in this day and age, will be online. Most of us don’t have tons of friends, or an active circle where we see things in person, it is usually the smallest part of the equation, which makes it easier to just unplug.

If God wants to talk to you, and He is dying to get a message across, He will speak through His word, again though, if you are used to hearing things through condemnation, this is torture. The Bible is full of rules and can be extremely annoying. That is why I feel God is pushing on me to accept His love because without it, it all seems ridiculous.

I have also been one of those people that is an individualist, and cannot stand religion. I just want to be myself, and not act like some freak. If I can reach people just being the craziness that is me, I feel that honors God. I read that a few months ago, that the more you are yourself, the more you honor God.

So maybe there is a feed post you are going through too much and it is full of Christian quotes and you are bombarded with it every day. Maybe you think you have to read a devotional or God will strike you dead. Nope. Maybe you think you have the read only the bad stories of the Bible because you need to beat yourself up. Stop already!

Set boundaries now. If people don’t like it, too bad. I doubt they will even notice, because of the flurry of “Amens!” that pop up immediately when someone “tells it like it is”. Oh I see, well live your life that way, I will not.

You will hate God and everything He stands for, if you keep it up. We are living in a time when people talk twenty four hours a day online and post quote after quote. Pinterest is like this, Facebook is like this, the most.

The times I like God the most, are when I am connecting with Him personally and feel like He is talking to only me, and there is a connection. In those moments, there is nothing bad coming from Him. The more I learn of God, the more kind He seems to be. I want to fight this, and I am even scared to say so, but so far it seems to be the truth.

Faith, hope, and love, get your encouragement by asking if what you read, see or hear makes you have the three mentioned. If you feel inspired, good, live more out of that. We live too much out of bad places in false humility thinking God wants us there, no.

A few months ago, I typed up the best quotes from Mark DeJesus and pinned them to my board, only to never look at them again. Mistake! So I will leave you with these, simple and to the point!

Infuse your heart with the love that God has for you.

Learn to love yourself the way God loves you.

Carry the love of God, and be yourself.

Be loved where you are at.

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